I feel so empty and so broken that I have nothing left to give. My pain is so deep that it seems like there is no more deeper that I can go. My head hurts, my eyes hurt, when I cry there are no more tears. I'm confused, I'm scared....I dont even feel like I can utter a prayer. The only thing I do is read His word, hold to His promises. There are no words that I can express how I am feeling. I'm almost numb because I hurt so much. Do you know what? God is still faithful! I know that he will pick up these broken pieces again just as he was beginning to do with Avery. Now, my precious Levi too. I just have so many questions all of which on this side of life would be answered with "I dont know" or "its just not fair". Why is this happening twice? Am I not meant to have a healthy pregnancy again? Pshhhh.....I say that as if I want to get pregnant, I DONT. A subsequent pregnancy after a stillborn is so nerve-wracking, so emotional, so scary. But two? I just CANT do it! I dont want to do it! For all I care my husband can get snipped. This is not how it should be, but its how it is. There is only One who can answer all my hearts deepest and darkest questions, which for this life will remain unanswered.
Please pray....for the delivery. Its nothing I would wish upon my worst enemy.
I'm praying for you all. I'm so sorry sweetie!!! May God carry you all through this time.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know, and so with what I know I will carry to God in prayer on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteStephanie
Oh precious Kiley.....my heart is breaking. As usual, your transparency and spiritual strength are an inspiration to the rest of us. I will pray for you unceasingly. I praise God for the ROCK which is your foundation....I praise God for his truths which you have hidden in your heart....I praise God for your beautiful son Grayden who will be a source of love and comfort for you, and undoubtedly countless others (who can say in what unknown and beautiful ways this will shape his life for the Lord?)....and I praise God for your incredible husband Nye with whom God, in his infinite wisdom, blessed you.
ReplyDeleteWe love you and are lifting you all up,
Sue and John, Melissa and Kevin
Kiley,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Hold on tightly to each other. Please let me know if I can help with anything. Lots of love to your family.
Kim Edmands
Words seem so meaningles as such a grievious time. Am praying for you and I love you.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and Nye and Grayden. You are in my heart.
ReplyDeleteOh Merciful Father.
ReplyDeleteKiley... I am aching for you... I am aching for your anguish... my words are halting and my cheeks are wet.
I am pleading in prayer for you three. Soli Deo Gloria.
I am praying hard for you, Kiley. My heart is breaking for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you during this time.
ReplyDelete~Rachael M.~
Kiley, you do not know me, but my brother & sister-in-law, Harrison & Trina Mosbey- and my sister, whom you have not met yet, Mary-Stewart have shared your story with me.
ReplyDeleteI am gut-wrenched. I absolutly cannot imagine what pain and anguish you are going through. I do not understand & it leaves me feeling helpless. You are my sister, in Christ (to God be the GLORY) & my heart goes out to you and your son & husband. I was actually in Maryland when Trina & Phoebe did the photo shoot for Avery. My husband is a pastor in Georgia & his message tonight was from John 9 & 1 Samuel (about Hannah) and his reminder to me was that through our circumstances we need to look from 30,000 feet, not ground level. You have clearly done this Kiley! You are transparent with your pain, and yet immediately you recognize God's love for you and your Trust in Him is so aparent! I am lifting you up to the One who holds us up. I praise God for you His child, fearfully and wonderfully made! Hold tight to Him.
- Mina Miley
Dear Sister and Brother, know that we are praying for you.
ReplyDelete