Thinking about adoption

and praying about the funds...THEN I open my email this morning.  Lord, is this a sign?

APRIL 29

Alone and Abandoned 

I delivered the poor who cried for help, and the orphan who had no helper. JOB 29:12

One of the things we tend to forget, overlook or just simply ignore when thinking about adoption is how desperately needy some children are. This came to mind again when hearing the story of a local couple who felt the need to share their family of six with a child from Guatemala. All that’s known about young Heidy Paola is that she was found in a cardboard box by the side of the road. She was less than a year old, abandoned to die until a policeman walked over to dispose of what he thought was an empty carton. Inside he found a sunburned, dehydrated infant, still breathing . . . somehow.

His decision to take her to a nearby orphanage probably wasn’t automatic. Many children are left unwanted in underprivileged countries, where poverty and need outrank parental concern in case after case. One more wasn’t a surprise. But because of God’s working through one man’s rescue efforts, a little baby left to die ultimately became a little girl growing up in an orphanage. When her adoptive parents first entered the dormitory where Heidy had lived since arriving at the orphanage, she rushed from her caretaker’s side and 

lunged into her new mommy’s arms. The bond was powerful and immediate. Nothing could be closer to God’s heart than this. I firmly believe that adoption is one of the central efforts in our day that can define the Church’s compassion for the world. With no one to protect them, children are in such distress. Their need is so great. May God raise up families who will reach out and give the helpless a home—a mommy and daddy who will protect them.

DISCUSS 

One child, hurting and in need. With no hope. No one. What can you do to help a child like this experience God’s love? 

PRAY 

Pray that your family will represent God’s heart of compassion to the fatherless.

On my heart....on my mind...

I cant tell you how many times I started writing this.....

We havent advertised a whole lot as to what has been happening in our life the last week or so.  Most have heard from family or by word of mouth.

We lost the baby, who we named Skyler.  Another precious baby.  We are hurt, confused, and scared.  We dont know where to go from here.  It seems ignorant to try to get pregnant again since whatever is happening to these little ones are because of my body.  Everything has come as a wave of shock.  When we went to the specialist at 16 weeks she told us of some concern that what happened with Avery and Levi were not the 'obvious' reasons that they had told us when we first lost them.  Rather, what really happened to them was disguised.  However, we were happy to know that the baby was healthy at the time...even though she saw things that were of concern.  We were thankful for another day.  As I have said many times, tomorrow isn't promised.  I know the Lord has orchestrated my body, I know nothing happens outside of His will.  It just really hurts to know what is causing this is in MY body.  It makes me feel as if I DID THIS TO THEM.  I know that this isnt the reality.  But now after losing 3, it is hard not to think that way...I am constantly reminding myself of the truths we find in scripture.  We are praying for answers.  Praying for comfort.  Praying for healing.  We WOULD LOVE LOVE to have a large family.  We have considered adoption, but financially it isn't even a possibility in the near future.  Again, God could change this or move mountains.  We would like to find out from the specialist what is causing this and praying that He would allow us to have a healthy, viable baby.  We would ask for your prayers for wisdom and that the Lord would direct our steps.

All that being said----it absolutely amazes me that we have Grayden.  HE IS OUR MIRACLE BABY (we have told him this, and he will let you know that ;).  I KNOW that the Lord has placed him in our lives.  I have seen Him work through our little boy many times in the last year and a half.  I am in awe that we have such a wonderful lovely sweet little boy, I truly am SOOO thankful.  Thank you Lord for our wonderful GIFT!  I dont think I could put into words how thankful we are for him.

Again, I always say...I am thankful to know that our babies are in Heaven.  They will be there for ETERNITY.  Our time here is a blink of an eye, forever is what we will have with them.  Praying ALWAYS that our little Grayden will come to know the saving faith of our Lord Jesus Christ.

UPDATE...on life and baby 16 weeks

 

16 weeks baby #4

This little blessing is SO covered in prayer.

Our church has a monthly sign-up to pray for us every day, multiple people sign up sometimes for the same day.  It is so encouraging to know that we are always covered in prayer when panic strikes.  To know that we have brothers and sisters in Christ who love us, who continue to lift us up to our good and gracious Father is more encouraging than I can say in words.  We have been having some medical concerns about this baby, and I KNOW that I have peace ONLY because of Christ. 

I am so thankful for each of our babies.  I am so thankful that the Lord has graced us with our precious 3 year old.  The Lord has put him in our lives as a wonderful support.  It sounds funny to say that my 3yo has been supporting me.  Truly, I say to you his innocent and honest encouragement has been such a blessing.  On days when I dont feel well he lovingly cares for me, offers me crackers and rubs my back.  When I cry, he gives me hugs and just lets me nestle my tears into his little neck.  The Lord truly has blessed us, and continues to do so.  

Every day I am thankful for the time that I have with this little Sunshine in my belly.  Every day he/she gets kisses from their big brother and lovies from their Daddy.  There are a lot of tests and precautions being taken with this pregnancy.  I will be going to the Dr about twice a week starting here soon for stress tests.  So long as the baby is viable and there is concern for the babies life, they will induce me there.  Lord willing, we wont be in that situation and they will induce me at 36 weeks to prevent losing the baby.

I continue to grieve our loss of Avery and Levi, although, I can truly say that I rejoice.

I rejoice because I KNOW that with their passing, that their entry into Heaven was instantaneous. 

I also realize that our life is so short, a blink of an eye here, and eternity is forever.  

Forever is what I'll have with them, my hearts desire is that I will have that with each of my children.

Duty calls...I'll keep you updated.  Thank you for your love and prayers.

Love from all of us!

WHO DOESN'T ENJOY A GOOD DEAL?!

I am FOREVER telling people about all my favorite deal sites.   Its a wonderful way to save money, without spending hours coupon-ing. I dont spend gobs of time cutting coupons (maybe 30 mins before going to the store).  I simply watch for deals and use my coupons when there are deals.  I usually save 55-65% on my grocery trips.  I RARELY buy anything that is not on sale unless its absolutely necessary.  I'm still new at this game and by far not yet a 'extreme coupon guru.'

So here are my favorites:
www.thekrazycouponlady.com
http://moneysavingmom.com./
http://www.forthemommas.com/  (just started this one, fun!)
www.commonsensewithmoney.com

Sites for printing coupons:
www.redplum.com
www.coupons.com
www.smartsource.com

For activities:
www.groupon.com
http://livingsocial.com/
https://sociallyideal.com


If you find a really good deal, and the coupons are no longer in print you can get them from:
www.ebay.com
www.couponclippers.com

ALSO, if you shop from the internet....there are a few websites where you can earn money back on your purchases.  My favorite is:
www.shopathome.com
BEFORE making your purchase go to the site through www.shopathome.com
Shop at Home also has a coupon code section for websites.  Once your account has reached $20, they will send you a check...thats it!

Another site that is good for searching online coupon codes for percentages off and free shipping codes is:
www.retailmenot.com

OH one more thing...if you are buying a high ticket item, many times it is cheaper to get it online w/ coupon codes and shopathome.  I always compare prices through http://www.pricegrabber.com or www.shopzilla.com

If you are in the market for something and dont have to get it right now.  You can set up a deal alert on http://www.pricepinx.com/

PRAISE!

Ok...so really.  SHORTLY AFTER I WROTE YESTERDAYS POST, my hubby called me and told me that one of his friends wives fights for insurance payment for a living.  Talk about answered prayer.

THEN, I called the womens clinic to speak with them directly (up till now I was mostly speaking w/ their billing office).  Courtney, one of the girls that were there the day I was in w/ Levi remembered me.  She said "your my super trooper."  I'm so touched that she remembered me, I know it was totally the Lord.  What was memorable for her was a) the situation b) how we managed it.  It was all by Gods grace.  Its a beautiful reminder to see how the Lord has used that specific loss.  So Courtney went to fight for me....she talked to the Dr, and the Dr is willing to call and work things out w/ the health insurance.  WHAT A BLESSING!!!  :0) I should know for sure what is going on in 30-45 days, but its so amazing to see Gods finger work wonders in minutes when this has been going on for months!

<3  So about my Loves call...doesnt look like we'll even need it.  Thank you for your prayers!

Tired of fighting...

Sometimes I just cry.
I'm exhausted.
I'm sore.
I miss my babies.
I cant wait to get to Heaven.
My flesh wants to cry for justice.
Whats really going on:  I'm tired of talking to the billing office for the 'womens clinic' and asking them to change the coding on what happened to Levi.  They are so rude...and so insensitive.  Nobody wants to take ownership of the situation and everyone wants to point the finger as to whose mistake it was.  I'm still dealing w/ losing him and having to re-visit all those horrible experiences that day simply isn't fruitful.  If anything it adds insult to pain.  As if there werent already enough going on.  The health insurance people...oh boy dont even get me started.  Before the office even submitted charges they were on the phone with the insurance for about 2 hours trying to make sure it went through properly.  They submitted it as they were told to.
Its so hard to remain in "self control" when there is so much injustice going on around you, with everything.  I just want to scream for justice.  Justice isnt mine, its Gods.  I am fighting, in this world I will have to fight.  Waters will be divided before me where the Lord wants me to walk.  I am fine with that, its just hard sometimes.  I was specifically looking up scriptures to encourage me right now and this one literally had me sobbing.  I'll tell you why after you read this with me.

Psalm 9

 ¹ I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart;
   I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
² I will be glad and rejoice in you;
   I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.

 ³ My enemies turn back;
   they stumble and perish before you.
⁴ For you have upheld my right and my cause,
   sitting enthroned as the righteous judge.
⁵ You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
   you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.
⁶ Endless ruin has overtaken my enemies,
   you have uprooted their cities;
   even the memory of them has perished.

 ⁷ The LORD reigns forever;
   he has established his throne for judgment.
⁸ He rules the world in righteousness
   and judges the peoples with equity.
⁹ The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
   a stronghold in times of trouble.
¹⁰ Those who know your name trust in you,
   for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

 ¹¹ Sing the praises of the LORD, enthroned in Zion;
   proclaim among the nations what he has done.
¹² For he who avenges blood remembers;
   he does not ignore the cries of the afflicted.

 ¹³ LORD, see how my enemies persecute me!
   Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death,
¹⁴ that I may declare your praises
   in the gates of Daughter Zion,
   and there rejoice in your salvation.

 ¹⁵ The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug;
   their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.
¹⁶ The LORD is known by his acts of justice;
   the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands.^[c]
17 The wicked go down to the realm of the dead,
   all the nations that forget God.
¹⁸ But God will never forget the needy;
   the hope of the afflicted will never perish.

 ¹⁹ Arise, LORD, do not let mortals triumph;
   let the nations be judged in your presence.
²⁰ Strike them with terror, LORD;
   let the nations know they are only mortal. 

Do you know what this scripture did to me today?  It took my mind off the thousands of dollars that we 'owe' (really a clerical error bc the office didnt submit it to the insurance properly), and focused my mind on Gods mercy over me.  There is no reason that I deserve the salvation that has been gifted to me (or anything else for that matter).  Mostly, it really made my heart break for THEM.  Yes THEM, the abortion clinic employees.  The people who make a living off of murdering innocent babies.  God will be my strength, and will go before me.  They who havent called him Lord, will receive His wrath.  Ugh...thats such a scary picture.  So my prayer is:  that as I know the Lord will be my stronghold and fight on my behalf...that I might be a light to shine for Him, the ONLY true God, in the midst of my trouble that they might see Christ through me.  In doing so they may receive the gift that I have and take a stand against the very thing they are doing...murdering innocent babies.

Psalms 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.  The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. 

PRAISE HIS NAME!!  To the Only God, to Christ Jesus be all GLORY, HONOR, and POWER!

Baby Update 14 weeks

Baby is happy and healthy...still cant tell if its a boy or girl yet :o).  Didnt get a heart count but the sonographer said that it had healthy rhythm.  No signs of preterm labor either! YAY!
Here is a picture of the kiddies that are here with us :0) :

Here's lookin at you kid Hammer #4 3-24-2011

Grayden playing on his computer, as Mommy is playing on hers :)

He's sitting in Averys blanket box, playing his Handy Manny learning computer.  All I can see is his little

piggies and various parts of him :).  Cutie pie, Lovey bug!